Poem in which everyone wears neck braces

I've seen the future and stylish
orthotics are ubiquitous.

We could not
quit craning toward
our shiny screens so
neckbraces became
must have accessories.

A wristwatch said
you were reliable;
glasses were
intelligent. But 

the neck brace
said something
more important,
passing teeth
and trousers
to be braces
type number one -
and companies
started supporting
as they did with the
tie and blackberry.

The neck brace said:
'I sought necessary
protection in advance
and will not be pursuing
damages'.

Ancient Hunting

Passed on like tigerskin or 

autographs, down through the family.

A stranger's sturdy
towel/nightdress,
Romanticised, stored
and recreated to present
arms of ancient, noble purpose.

Now: ordered lines machined and repeated. 

Folded by hand
like an ambassador's napkin. Photocopy as 

relic, collective karaoke.

Noble is difficult, like good, 

but old we can do, 

and fast.

Apathy

Apathy kills
me when
she rolls
her eyes -

I laugh,
she smirks,
I forget
what I said.

The paper
is wet,

everything
falls away in
a striptease
to the bath.

(Her mother’s greek,
her dad: a misogynist.
She can hold conversation
with just the words
pity and pithy. She
sleeps in cold water.)

Once out,
she returns
to flick through
channels and
papers. She
breathes in
time. Mine.

I ask
her where the
letter is. She asks
me for a number
and sets the table
for her trick.

She holds her
hand over the
candle and counts
until the light
goes out.

Three days later
I find the letter
in the laundry.
She’s always
doing this.

What happened on Thursday?

 

My employer’s long term pet project was coming to fruition. I’d never agreed with its aims.

 

With just hours to go before launch it was revealed that my employer was, contrary to perceived wisdom, head of an organisation with principles running in stark opposition to those established by the founders of my organisation. This discovery provoked me to speak out against the project. The two of us entered into a climactic showdown.

In what I perceive to have been an act of support, my work colleague entered into a physical confrontation with my employer’s direct report (who was thankfully of comparable physical strength). There must have been something in the air that day, my partner also ended up in an altercation with my employer’s secretary (an Aryan blonde with a severe outlook).

As I learned more about my employer's project it became clear that it had impacted upon many. For example, my father – hitherto thought deceased - was revealed to be alive and highly capable. I was surprised and pleased to learn his separation from my family was coerced and that we share a similar sense of humour.

The four of us were able to cancel the planned project launch through a mixture of physical strength, team work and problem solving. I think we all learned something important about ourselves. There was an explosion. Once everything had been settled, my dog (who we all thought had died in an earlier explosion) returned to add a paw to our team hands in, in celebration of our success.

I'm not facing any disciplinary action for entering into a physical confrontation with my employer. In fact, my partner, work colleague, father, dog and I received medals from regal officials on a podium.

The young man and the sea

Archie Meades

Meg ran away often.
As a collie, she was expected to herd 

but the only
gathering she did was
when her vanishing acts
led me to the water's edge
to see her splash and strut
in the shallow parts of the bay.

She sensed my limits:
my school shoes
and the evening schedule.
And I knew two things: Meg hated
the feel of water on her head, and the ferry

and its wake would come every two hours.

I waited hours in the hope
she would yield to my murmured, merman pleas. 

Balls and replacement stones went fetched, 

unreturned and forgotten. 

Calls to heel were screened. 

Would she have done the same 

with sheep? She loved this 

immersive theatre.

It always ended with one of us 

wetter than we wanted,
a frequently repeated washing cycle.
We never had a chance 

to speak about it

on account of her being a dog.

Future tense

Vinyl whispers erode my froth as I sit with coffee in someone's wedding china. Me in shorts, my feet in brogues.

My pencilled K. Amis
brings me to
brandy-starers
with family crests,
leather headrests in

clubs with fees and

rich mahogany.

I and them, we
are soft-boiled men
in wooden rooms,
backwards facing
like train options or
babies after milk.

Progress, like cutlery,
can be found
in the kitchen.

Captcha

To escape my nan's care
home you need
to successfully enter four
digits: the year

Spotted

Tartan flat cap,
Bogart trenchcoat.
Face: Poirot/Clouseau,
by way of a euro
moustache.

Sloping overbridge
by the Heritage
Plc. pub, he
holds his camera
on its side

like he's Cousteau,
a ventriloquist
or enthused parent.
Stock characters
all and forever.

Aerial

My father has a monument
in this town
dedicated
to quick-release
seatbelts.
You'll need a snorkel.

Warning

Don't kick stones.
You'll scratch
Your shoes
And those cars
And there'll always
Be more.

My toothbrush is very intelligent

'... a short stuttering sound reminds you to brush all four quadrants of your mouth equally.
A long stuttering sound indicates the end of the professionally recommended 2-minute brushing time.
The elapsed brushing time is memorised when the handle is briefly switched off during brushing. 

'To promote optimal brushing your toothbrush has a pressure control feature installed. If too much pressure is applied,
the oscillating movement of the brush head will continue but the pulsation will stop. 
In addition you will also hear a different sound while brushing.'

I thought I heard a different sound when I listened to the recording of Rowan Williams in Dresden.
Maybe I shouldn't have earphones in when I brush my teeth.

'In the 1930's Max Braun's small business grew to become one of Germany's leading consumer radio manufacturers. At the 1937 World's Fair in Paris, he received the award for special achievements in phonography ... During World War II, Braun was compelled to more or less abandon products for the civilian sector. In 1944, the Frankfurt factories were almost entirely destroyed ...'

My car was shaking on the motorway. Oscillating?
...
move or swing back and forth in a regular rhythm
Yes, I suppose it did.
Trees on the horizon looked like teeth
and white German cars swept past.
My car shakes at 80, is better at 90.
The sound changes from one of
spinning metal and shaking bolts
to the steady drone of flight.
I spent parts of the drive,
when not listening to the radio,
wondering if I could ever press
the accelerator hard enough
that my little Fiesta
would fall apart.

Espada

A plastic fish floats
on a wide black puddle,
its soy sauce belly pumped.

The green muzzle holds in city air
but we’re miles from the ocean.
Sayonara, sucker.

Ampersand

(painting a funeral director's sign)

Maybe the Finns have it right,
put all the facts in your name:
your dad, your rank, your billing address.

The paintbrush follows
the curve of her back
and the arm reaching to protect.

The mother with the strained neck, eating;
the baby dragging its padded bottom;
the mathematical symbol for yoga.

It says that what comes after
belongs to what came first,
as those eyes of yours
move to the next line.

&